Members Questions Answered By Keren
Every week Keren will answer a question posed by a member and this will be posted on this page.
If you have any questions you want to ask click on the 'New Questions For Our Coaches' link below.
You will need to be logged in as a member to ask a question. Membership is free (click here to join).
Email addresses are not posted with your question.
Remember to re-visit this page to see if yours is chosen to be answered.
If your question isn't answered by Keren, it may still appear in the Forum for other members to answer.
Answers Home
Married six years. I care for my husband but is that enough for the next 30plus years?
| Catherine: Married six years. I care for my husband but is that enough for the next 30plus years? | March 5, 2010, 3:28 pm |
| I’ve been married for six years. We didn't get off to a very promising start: we’d both recently come out of long-term relationships, we both had children and although I was OK financially, my husband wasn't. In the few years after our marriage, I’ve had several bouts of illness during which he was very unsupportive. I told him I felt neglected and he’s making great efforts to change, to involve me in his life and talk about the past, something that used to be off-limits. My biggest problem is I don’t know how I feel? Am I with him because the alternative is too hard? There’s no way I could afford our house or the bills on my own. I do care for my husband but is that enough for the next 30 or so years? I'm 49 and he’s 40. | |
| re: Married six years. I care for my husband but is that enough for the next 30plus years? by Keren | March 5, 2010, 3:38 pm | |
| I wonder what it is that you want from a relationship? It sounds as though your husband has really tried to change for you and yet it’s not enough. Write down for yourself what would be your ideal relationship list: • Which qualities do you prize most? • How do you expect a partner to behave? • How would you like the physical side of your relationship to be? • How would you like him to relate to your children and you to his? • How would you like to manage your finances? • How would you like to run the house? My list is just a start; you may have other things to add. Once you’ve done this, suggest to him that he does it, too. Sit down together and discuss what you both want from a relationship. See where it might be falling short. Agree how it can be improved. Only when this is done will you know how you feel and whether you have common objectives and values. My hunch is that things have just gone a little awry and a good discussion will put your marriage back on track. |
||
Coaching
Our Coaching Team
Sue Donnelly
Penelope Young
Keren Smedley
Ashley Meyer
Stephanie Spink
Anne Marie Shawe
Sue Donnelly
Penelope Young