Interesting People at 50 Plus

 

Keren interviews Diana Athill (91) – about her life , getting older and her book ‘Somewhere Towards The End’.

She won the Costa Book Award this year

DIANA ATHILL - literary editor, novelist and memoirist who has worked with some of the most important writers of the 20th century.

 

 

What made you decide to write the book?

Well, isn’t it strange? I wrote the last book, the one about my childhood before this one, and I said to my publisher, ‘well, I’ve written my LAST book’ - as by that time I was nearly 90 - and he said ‘well I don’t know about that, I’d like to read something about you, about being old, about how you age, or death’. When we were in publishing in the early days, the suggestion of a book about how you age or death or something, would have been appalling difficult to sell, they would have said it won’t be of any interest, it would be too morbid, and readers don’t want to read about such things.  So I had somehow just thought that readers just wouldn’t want to read about old age and death.  So I just left it, but I began to think about it, little things began to occur to me, little questions.  And the thing that really actually did kick start me, oddly enough, was the idea when I found a Tree Fern. When I first saw it I thought I will never, ever be able to see this grow. But it was at that moment when I thought it and wondered if I would ever be able to really enjoy it – after finding this teeny weeny thing   And of course that’s the awful thing about it though, but it was half funny as well as sad, so I wrote about that and once I’d started, the book just came, it came in bits almost like a little series of essays - I didn’t plan it all, it just came !

Do you work every day?

Once I get started I work every possible moment. I’m not an early morning person, I can work all night. Once it is flowing it’s flowing and I just carry on.

And have you been surprised at how well it’s done?

I’ve been astounded! Absolutely astounded!  It did well from the start.  Much better than I expected.  But since it won the Costa, it has quite literally has turned in to a genuine best seller. It’s selling by the thousands.

Yes, it is in every bookshop in every town

And in the United States too, it’s extraordinary.  It’s quite astounded me because I’ve never published a book that’s been a flop, they’ve always had  nice little royalties that I’ve enjoyed, but in a modest way.  But this one has outstripped all the others. People are queuing up with questions they want to talk about being old and what age is about.  They are really quite interested, quite young people as well

Well being old can be really quite scary can’t it?

It is scary! But it can get less scary - if you are thinking it through it becomes less scary and I think that is something that people like about the book;  they realise it doesn’t become more scary as being old comes towards them, in fact I think it becomes less scary.

But also you are very straight about it. You’re clear about this is how it is, this is how I feel. You’re very open and refreshing.  You’re not a moaner are you? Or  a complainer.

No. There was a very interesting article in the Guardian the other day; they said that they have now actually discovered a gene for optimism, that people with cheerful natures have a special gene.  And I think I’ve got it!! Of course there people who, when they look at the horror of life and focus on that, they get sad.  I know about those things but somehow I choose to think about the fact that the crocuses are coming out in Hyde Park and that is what I respond to and I think it is probably genetic.

So what apart from being upbeat are the things that have kept you going, that enable you to do things and not say I’m  78 or older I and can’t do it?

Its luck, I never thought that I’d be able to write and then I discovered that it just sort of came to me, that I could and my books just sort of happened, and once that had happened I just enjoyed it!  Many authors I knew when they were asked if they enjoyed writing they just said ‘No I don’t enjoy it,’ But for me its fun!

So it doesn’t feel like work?

No it doesn’t feel a bit like work, I’m doing something I really, really want to do.

And will you do another one?

I don’t know about that, I enjoy the act of writing and what I am doing now is because I enjoy doing it. I’m doing a diary, which is more a diary of what I am thinking about. It’s what is happening now, and if it works, if that  is what the publisher thinks, then Ok, but if it doesn’t then I don’t really mind.

As you know I’m here talking to you because I run a company that has been set up to empower and motivate the older person and many of us would like to know a bit more about getting older.

What’s it like being old?

Physically things are not great.  I’ve got no energy in the morning but I push myself to wake up and get up and the day is taken on. You can wake up and say, ‘Oh, I can’t get up today’, but you must say to yourself, ‘oh, come on you can!’. It is important to do that.  I am a night owl. My mind set helps me to achieve. I still feel young inside.
Some of the things I do forget and I expect it is because I want to!  Although I do think my memory has deteriorated from when I was 60.  As you get older your mind gets too full.

Do you feel old?

I do feel old, now sometimes, of course physically I’m old and there are times when its all too much.

Because of aches and pains?

I’m very bad at walking, if I could walk more it would be easier but my feet are bad, and therefore my knees and hips are bad. I’ve got quite a lot of arthritis in my joints. So it does mean that I’m not at all good at walking. And in the morning it is pretty difficult to get out of bed sometimes .I just feel sometimes that I haven’t got the energy, but I push myself.

Emotionally do you feel old or do you feel the way you’ve always felt?

I think I feel like I’ve always felt, and obviously there are some differences. But yes, I think I do.

At what stage would you have considered yourself as ‘old’?

I stayed in my job until I was 75, It was unusual then to stay in a job till 75, but then it was a job that could go on for much longer but I was noticing towards the end that I wasn’t doing things as well as I used to. I didn’t think consciously that I was old as I feel young inside, but I knew I wasn’t as sharp as I used to be.  But I didn’t actually feel at all old. Past 80 seemed to be the point where one had to be an old person. But that was when I published the first of my books

You may no longer been going out to work at the publishers, but you are doing something very productive
I’m certainly doing that. I’ve written since I gave up work  and also I had to  look after my dear friend who wasn’t well

What do you think are the secrets of older age?

I don’t really know but I think a good disposition helps. What has surprised me is the interest in my book. A number of years ago when I published something on being old, it didn’t get any interest. It is interesting that nowadays It’s Ok to talk about death and old age.  I am amazed and delighted the book is, I suppose a bestseller. I was delighted to get an OBE. I didn’t expect to but I enjoyed every minute of the ceremony.

I think we can do a certain amount to help ourselves. I think mind over matter does work to a certain extent.

Rose Hacker took up writing as a columnist in the Camden journal when she was 100. She died just before her 102nd birthday and the important thing for her was that she was able to be independent. She chose when it was right for her to move into a home

What concerns you?

I dread older people being a burden on anyone especially their children. It’s important to look after yourself and work out what to do e.g. going into sheltered housing. It’s important you take charge and find an alternative, if sheltered housing is not right then an old people’s nursing home – some are heartbreaking, so you need to find the right place for you. I will make the decision for myself when the time is right. I see myself, as my legs aren’t what they used to be, living somewhere where I can be looked after but maintaining my independence. I imagine taking myself out in my electric chair to visit friends and go to the shops.

We don’t get a choice when to die. Frances Partridge lived till she was 103. In her late 90’s she felt she’d had enough and said ‘I want to die’ but I don’t know how to!  

As an old person I really appreciate life. I’m very glad when spring arrives and I think ‘I made it!’ I love spring.  Being older makes you much more very aware, consciously aware, and pleased about things.

Work stopped me being bored. I worked till I was 75 and I became aware I was less sharp for example in proof reading.  Writing took over at 80. It is fun for me, not a stress, it takes me over and I really enjoy it.

So if you were going to give tips to a 50 year old?

A fifty year old to me is like a child!  I would say, ‘for  goodness sake stop making heavy weather out of being old! You’ve got years ahead of you. Get interested in something!’ And if you are feeling too miserable to do it, make yourself do it.’

My tips for older age are

     Be interested in life and others.

     Believe you can.

     Expect people to be nice to you.

     Do new things.

     Accept your limitations and use what is available e.g. wheel chairs at galleries etc.

     Keep your brain going by being interested in things.

     Stop worrying about your age, many become over concerned at 50  – 50 is still young.

     Accept where you are in your life.

     It’s important to talk about things that frighten you like death and illness.

     It’s important to recognise we get old and that it is part of life and not be frightened.

     If you’re lucky enough to live a long time, it ‘s ok to die. Our bodies do deteriorate that’s how it
     is. Awful deaths are young deaths.

     Believe people will help, I do, and people always stop to help me.

I believe we need to really enjoy what we can out of each day, focus on the pleasures whatever our age