Susan Macintosh | 27th July 2016


CoffeefriendshipIt’s funny how everything seems to be going along swimmingly and then one day you realise you’d like a friend. Maybe, a new and different kind of friend. A friend to meet a new yearning. A part of you that you are only now just discovering…..gotta love that.

You might know a lot of people. You might not. You may be on lots of committees, or in book clubs, or maybe you are at school or your life is full of social media “friends”. But this is something different… you have a need for this new friend… a friend whose companionship and humour make you feel complete. One who will help you to discover you.

And it can feel insurmountable to make a new friend…. so, how to go about it?

You can’t find her on the local trading post… so, let’s forget about that.

Finding a friend has to become your priority. She is not going to knock on your door. You’re going to have to knock on her door.

Look around, do something that you wouldn’t normally do, and see if you like the way someone looks, talks or behaves. Find a tiny thread of courage… make eye contact. Are her eyes smiling back at you? Introduce yourself.

She (of course) must have a delightful sense of self. You don’t need an insecure and needy person in your life.

Age is not important… instead focus on connecting with someone with shared values and curiosity (and a wicked sense of humour can’t hurt).

When it feels right, suggest meeting for a chat over coffee, a green smoothie or coconut water… it’s one way to find out if she’s “normal” and a good connection for you.

And don’t take it personally if she asks to change the time and date. Remind yourself to write your plans in pencil. Be flexible. Be patient.

And make contact more than once… no stalking mind.

… good friends are worth waiting for.

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